Ethelda

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So you've done a personality test and the are in: you're a Judger.

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10 tips for dealing with judgmental people

Guilt still feels bad even if it occasionally precedes positive. Consequently, I end up going to the gym. Insightful article many thanks Nick. That is the part of life that I examined so far. I judgemental personality I was on a noble journey. Needs re reading to try and use all this in every day situations. I think you just gave an explanation to behaviours that I was never able to piece together until now.

Notice that in neither of the above examples are we actually describing the emotion of anger. Wonderful article thank you for writing it! But the judgemental personality powerful habits are both negatively and positively reinforced.

How you can deal with highly judgmental people

Most of us think of anger as a negative emotion because its consequences often are. But awareness of this pattern of judgmentalness leading to anger which serves to alleviate a painful emotion like sadness is only possible when we begin to take a closer more nuanced look at our emotional lives. But opportunity cost applies to any model of investment. Seen in this light, unhelpful tendencies like judgmentalness and hypercriticalness judgemental personality to make more sense as drivers of a temporarily useful emotion.

As an argumentative classroom bully, I was amazingly unaware of the psychological mechanics driving my behavior: Being judgmental and overly-argumentative helped me alleviate the boredom, disappointment—and in a sense, profound sadness about the state of my education—by substituting anger as judgemental personality dominant emotional experience in the classroom.

Thank you for this lightbulb moment for me, Nick. But to my teachers, I was coming across as a judgmental jerk. Similarly, my judgemental personality of judgmentalness was especially strong because it was also positively reinforced: In addition to the alleviation of boredom and disappointment, I also felt a swell of positive feeling while I was arguing and being judgmental. In addition to the explicit side effects of unexamined anger-as-antidepressant, it also has an implicit opportunity cost.

I got in the habit of being judgmental because it alleviated the aversive feelings of boredom and disappointment—a process psychologists call negative reinforcement. By post author. Okay, maybe anger is positive. I always believed I held absolute truth but to the people that were far more humble, gracious and kind to me Judgemental personality learnt more from them than my own bigotry would ever teach someone else.

And so I was rightly perceived as judgmentalrather than simply judging. Junk food and drugs, for judgemental personality, are so powerful as habits because they alleviate negative feelings and add positive ones. All You Need to Know Most of us think of anger as a negative emotion because its consequences often are. Thanks alot. But for anger to be a positive reinforcer, that would have to mean anger is… judgemental personality positive thing?! But deep down I really feel frustrated, sad and powerless to make her happier.

Not a criticism! My argumentative judgmentalness and all the ego-boosting anger that resulted distracted me from a very real solution to my problem.

Where does a judgemental personality come from anyway?

And rightly so…. Nick, well crafted and communicated. Just like the playground bully who learns that picking on little kids makes him feel big and strong after a night of abuse judgemental personality belittling at home, I unconsciously learned that judgemental personality hypercritical and judgmental made me feel smart after hours of classroom boredom and academic disappointment.

But anger does feel bad. In the psychology of emotions we identify an emotion as constructive or destructive. This was partly excitement—the thrill of the intellectual hunt! But what difference does it make? Here are two examples from my own life of how a poorly understood theory of anger can be problematic: Anger is an antidepressant with some potentially nasty side-effects As an argumentative classroom bully, I was amazingly unaware of the psychological mechanics driving my behavior: Being judgmental and overly-argumentative helped me alleviate the boredom, disappointment—and in a sense, profound sadness about the state of my education—by substituting anger as my dominant emotional experience in the classroom.

Anger can be constructive when it drives us to new thinking and behaviors the Civil Rights movement of the 60s is a good example of anger toward a judgemental personality group creating positive change — not quite finished, though. Really resonated. It made me feel powerful and smart in an environment where I was frequently under-stimulated, under-challenged, and bored stiff. Mny tks. And while I managed to make it through my academic career without any major issues, there were a couple close calls.

The terms positive and negative are not the scientific terms. The root of how the bully was bullied is usually so much more cloudy and insidious than that.

But the experience of anger itself is actually positive, which means it functions as judgemental personality powerful but subtle reinforcer of unhelpful behavior. Anger can be destructive when it damages relationships. I am highly judgmental and critical not only of others but myself. Anger is a crutch that makes us passive In addition to the explicit side effects of unexamined anger-as-antidepressant, it also has an implicit opportunity cost.

And an unexamined view of anger is one of the primary culprits.

All of which feel very, very good. Here are two examples from my own life of how a poorly understood theory of anger can judgemental personality problematic:. We incorrectly classify anger as negative because the outcomes it le to are often negative: That sarcastic comment we mutter to our spouse after an argument that becomes a point of resentment or the car accident we get into as a result of our road rage and poor driving.

Trust this adds some insights to your outstanding thinking on the harm of being judgmental. This makes total sense to me.

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For example, if I miss exercising for a few days in a row, I often feel a mild twinge of guilt. I hate being angry! For example, a much better, more productive use of my time and energy would have been to address my boredom and disappointment head-on: Instead of criticizing my professors or school for not doing a good enough job, I could have taken it judgemental personality myself to study and learn more on my own.

And while I never judgemental personality to get on to the philosophy career track, I found my way into psychology, which values that sentiment just as highly as the philosophers. But now I see that it was not just that. So even though anger often precedes very bad outcomes, the feeling of judgemental personality itself is actually quite positive. I like to flex muscle over others, blaming, boasting myself…. Anger is a positive emotion. I like the article a lot because it gives me the wisdom to examine the unexamined aspects of our behaviors and thinking patterns and thereby enabling us to make use of those into positive energies for our self growth.

As a practicing psychologist, I get to witness every day how unexamined bits of thinking, emotion, belief, and desire get people tangled up in painful webs of emotional suffering and distress. Negative reinforcement is powerful enough to sustain many habits. I used to be a bully—intellectually, anyway.

Glad it was helpful, Maria! Thank you very much for your article. Just wish the bully culture could be more fleshed out and judgemental personality so it could be addressed and treated. As Socrates might have said had he ended up on a slightly different career path: The unexamined emotional life is not worth living. Emotions are properly defined by what they are themselves, not what they may or may not lead to down the line. Are you sure? Took a bit to sway me to believe anger is a positive emotion though in a self-righteous ugly way it kinda is.

I thought of myself as a dispassionate judge simply setting the record straight. When we learn to stop and judgemental personality it carefully, we often find that the real feeling of anger is a sense of power, agency, control, pride, and righteousness.

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Which le me to a belief I have long held that anger is not an emotion in and of itself. Really interesting, thank you.

There was something even more psychologically insidious going on…. I do not believe judgemental personality if when asked — how is one feeling? I am also judgemental personality kind of person that you mentioned in the article. Read Next. Deep and resourceful. Far be it from me to tell you how you feel. I think one of your most brilliant points here is the use of anger as a distraction. I go even step further.

As the notorious gadfly Socrates famously proclaimed: The unexamined life is not worth living. And they were right. Dear poster, you hit the nail on the head.

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